And now what?

I did it! Against my better judgment , knowing that it's way too soon to be planning for a grandchild, I bought the first of many bits and pieces I plan on collecting over the next few months. It's as much a symbolic gesture as it is a practical thing. My thinking is to curate a 'hope chest' of sorts, full of  mundane, practical stuff so that my daughter and her husband can take care of the more stylish, personal choices. Newborn sized onesies seemed a good start ; a handy and oh so practical thing to have, especially for a baby due most likely in early June.

I also started my attempt at frugal living since things will be tight for a while now until I move. Best I can manage,  nothing in the way of clothes or personal care unless its on sale and store brand wherever practical. Managing my work so that I don't spend money on gas everyday when I can get everything done in fewer trips and running errands to suit where I'm going for work etc. Cutting back on the frills for just a while.

If, and that's a huge if, things go as hoped, I can see me moving early next Summer . That's a perfect world and we know that doesn't exist. My only hesitation is what my sons will do. One is working just about full time, doing well by all accounts (how should I know, he doesn't talk to me - long story) and can probably afford to pay for some kind of living situation and take care of himself. The other son? There's my problem. He seems quite undecided as to his future, having already dropped out of technical school for reasons that I supported, and says he will be attending the local county college come the New Year. For now, he is working but not making enough to put a roof over his head and pay the bills I don't think. If it came to it, I could probably help out but not too much. Then again, he's legally an adult and maybe I should just leave him to sort it out. Many would probably say I've done too much already and I should just step back and leave them both to figure it out. Easier said than done.

So......

After weeks, months even, of complete indecision and sleepless nights wondering what would be the best thing to do, the decision was made for me.

All the 'what if's' and 'maybes' blown away in an instant.  Buying the 'country house' was part of a long term plan to cut expenses, earn a little income from the extra apartment and be present as a dedicated childcare provider so my daughter could return to work when their dream of starting a family came true. A three family home which for now is home to my daughter and two tenant families but which soon enough will be my home.

I wasn't sure if I was making the right move after all. Both my sons' plans changed and there was a real feeling of responsibility to them but how long do I go on making choices in the interests of others. Although not out of their teens, they are both working, possibly studying and more than capable of setting themselves up even if it's not with the level of comfort they are used to.

So, there was hesitation about keeping my commitment to buy the country house. Not any more.

It's still a closely guarded secret (I can write here because,let's face it, no one who knows me or my family will read this!) but my daughter told me last night she is expecting my first grandchild! *Insert every celebratory sound effect* So, there will be a need for me to be closer to her in about a year and that would just about perfectly fit the timetable for closing the agreement to buy the house once and for all.

There's the minor detail of having to sell this house of course but I'm hoping the market is turning (even if it is ever so slowly) and I can get a reasonable price in a relatively short period of time.